God Is FAITHFUL!!

A note to the members of Immanuel Southern Baptist Church: 

Bro Rick here. For those who were in service yesterday, you heard the incredible news that God restored every dollar that had been stolen from our accounts. We give Him all the praise for His faithfulness!

As I’ve reflected on everything that happened, I wanted to share a few things God has impressed on my heart:

Even when our financial resources were gone, our ministry didn’t stop. God reminded us that His work is never limited by what we have or don’t have.

The timing of the theft lined up with our planned revival, yet the sense of loss didn’t hinder what God wanted to do. If anything, it made the work in our hearts even more meaningful.

Walking through this challenge together created a unity we haven’t felt in a long time. God used a difficult moment to draw us closer as a family.

Many of us were given unexpected opportunities to testify about God’s provision. I pray you’ll continue those conversations and point people back to His goodness.

God has shown Himself faithful once again, and I’m grateful to walk this journey with all of you.

(For background, see this post: Will a Man Rob God?)

People! People! People!

 The title of this post is a quote from one of my favorite John Wayne movies, "McLintock!" (I love that the title has an exclamation point!)

While the quote is from the character, Drago, and is used to get people's attention, I use it often as an exclamation of frustration. I usually say it to myself, but sometimes it gets mumbled on the outside.

I've found myself saying it a lot over the past few years.

Or better yet, to quote RC Sproul, "What's wrong with you people?"

There is a saying in church leadership, "Poop runs uphill."

So very true.

No matter what people do to each other, the pastor gets blamed.

No matter what people say to each other, the pastor gets blamed.

In a way, I guess, it is my fault. I assume people who call themselves "Christians" are going to be led by the Holy Spirit. We all know what happens when you assume.

I am an eternal optimist. Or at least I used to be. I'm not sure I am any longer.

People can be just downright mean to each other. And to their pastor.

I wonder, in how many minds do I live rent free?

Last Sunday, I preached a sermon on forgiveness. I said that you have to forgive people who aren't even sorry for what they did or said.

Let me tell you something; it's hard to practice what I preach...

I'm tired. No. I'm exhausted. Mentally. Physically. Even spiritually.

People have said some very mean and unfair things to me. Things of which I do not believe to be true, but hurt, nonetheless.

I know that Jesus is enough. I KNOW!!!!

I know that Jesus suffered MUCH more than I ever will.

There is solace in that knowledge.

I KNOW that the accuser is a liar and will come at me where I am weak and vulnerable.

Yes, a pastor can be weak and vulnerable in certain areas of his personal life. I mean, we're people, too, after all.

I KNOW our enemy is a jerk of Biblical proportions. He was a jerk to the Father. He was a jerk to Jesus. And he is a jerk to anyone who claims the Name of Jesus for themselves.

I KNOW our enemy is not each other. But our enemy sure does use others to get you where it hurts.

I need to suit up each day in the Armor of God.

I need to pray for wisdom, discernment, and for the people who insult me and make trouble for me.

I need to seek God in every circumstance and run to Him for comfort. 

I know I'm not perfect. Far from it, in fact.

I get no satisfaction from telling people how the cow ate the cabbage.

I dislike confrontation mostly because I fear I may cross a line. Too bad others don't feel that way.

Pastoring ain't for sissies.

2025 Sabbatical

I have been afforded the opportunity to take a short, 31-day sabbatical by my church. I am taking it the entire month of May 2025. Here is something I found about the need for pastoral rest:

Pastoral burnout is often caused by a combination of emotional, spiritual, and physical pressures. Here are some of the main contributing factors:

1. Unrealistic Expectations – Pastors are expected to be available 24/7, provide counseling, preach inspiring sermons, lead ministries, and handle administrative tasks. This constant pressure can be overwhelming.

2. Lack of Boundaries – Many pastors struggle to separate their personal and ministry lives. Without time for rest and personal renewal, exhaustion builds up.

3. Emotional Strain – Shepherding a congregation means carrying the burdens of others—grief, struggles, conflicts—which can take a toll over time.

4. Financial Stress – Some pastors face financial insecurity, adding to their stress levels, especially if they feel undercompensated for their workload.

5. Isolation – Leadership can be lonely. Pastors may feel they have no one to confide in or fear admitting struggles, leading to internalized stress.

6. Conflict and Criticism*– Dealing with congregational disagreements, complaints, and criticism can erode a pastor’s confidence and enthusiasm.

7. Neglect of Personal Spiritual Life – Constantly ministering to others while neglecting personal spiritual renewal can leave a pastor feeling disconnected and empty.

8. Lack of Rest – Skipping vacations or taking few personal breaks can lead to chronic exhaustion and reduced effectiveness.

Burnout isn’t just an individual issue—it affects the entire church. When pastors are drained, their leadership and ability to care for their congregation suffer. Recognizing these signs and addressing them early is key to long-term health and ministry sustainability. 

Pain in the Back

 I hurt my back (most recently) in October of 2024 while moving a washing machine for a young widow in our church. I must have caused a bulged or ruptured disc. I was in constant, excruciating pain until a couple weeks ago.

I went to a chiropractor. It helped for a tiny bit each time but was too expensive to keep going.

I've used a medicine cabinet's worth of ointments and gels to alleviate the pain.

I've used a handheld back vibrator to the point of nearly wearing it out.

I've put ice packs on it several times a day.

In addition to the actual injury, I've had a mess of undue stress that has only aggravated the pain.

I'm not really sure what happened two weeks ago. But I praise the Lord that I am better!

17 Years as Pastor

August 1 was my 17th anniversary of being the pastor of Immanuel Southern Baptist Church! There have been multitudes great wonderful things that far outweigh the not so wonderful things. I praise the Lord for His faithfulness to me, my family, and our church! I praise the Lord for all the wonderful relationships over these years. I look forward to seeing what He’s yet to do!

13 Years Pastoring

13 years is a long time. This past year seems to be the longest. I, nor any of my friends, have ever faced the challenges of being a pastor during a pandemic.

13 Year Anniversary Pic

At least since mid-March, traditional conventional ministry, at least personal pastoral ministry, has been anything but normal or conventional. I have faced criticism from folks for following the recommendations of the CDC and closing down for public services. Likewise, I have faced criticism for not closing down soon enough and/or reopening too soon. There is literally no way to please everyone. And the pastor will be the one blamed if anything regarding the pandemic goes wrong within the church.

Falls Creek was cancelled. So was KBA. We made the heart wrenching decision to cancel Vacation Bible School.

There are several older members who I have not seen in person since March and they refuse to allow me to visit them in their homes. In fact, I’ve only been in a handful of members’ homes since March. I hate it.

Nevertheless, I have continued to preach every week. We never had a completely empty sanctuary. We have had a couple people saved and I was honored to baptize 3 people last Sunday. We have been on Facebook Live and have had hundreds of viewers. We are back to “normal” except for Sunday evening services. Attendance is suffering. We are at approximately 35-40% of regular attendance. Giving is down. We were the first in town to reestablish our children and youth programs. But we have also lost several people through this crisis.

Nevertheless, through all of these issues, God has been faithful. We were able to raise over $7000 for our Pakistani Christian friends who are suffering more than we are. Both children and youth were afforded the opportunity to attend an alternative to camp this past week, thanks to the efforts of volunteers.

If you'd like to watch the live service online, go to facebook.com/immanuelsouthern at about 11 am (Central) on Sunday mornings.  If you'd like to contribute to our church, you can also do that online at http://www.bfok.org/give-immanuelsouthern

I don’t know what the future looks like, but I know who holds the future! God is good- all the time!

Is Everyone God's Children?

I hear it all the time, "We are all God's children."

It is a nice sentiment, but it isn't true. Actually, there are a whole lot of nice sentiments that aren't true, but I digress...

What IS true is that we are all "created in the image of God." (Refer to Genesis 1:27). In other words, we are all God's creation. BUT, that doesn't make us His children.

Children, whether natural born or adopted are heirs of their parents. We are not naturally born into God's family. We are adopted by means of grace through faith in Jesus Christ. (Refer to Ephesians 2:8-9) Actually, that is the ONLY way to be adopted in to God's family. (Refer to John 14:6)

So, where does the idea that we are "all children of God" come from? It comes from bad theology and wishful thinking.

You see, to be adopted into God's family, certain things need to happen. The first is that a person must feel the conviction of sin by the Holy Spirit. The second is that they must trust Jesus to be their savior.

Those two things are entirely necessary, but certainly not natural. Very few people will admit that they are sinners under their own power. No one likes to think of themselves as broken or blemished. But, until that happens, that is, that you realized that you are lost, in danger, in mortal/eternal peril, there is no need to seek out a savior.

Then, this is where things get tricky. The world says that if we are good enough, we will go to Heaven; that if our good outweighs our bad, we get judged "good." Unfortunately, that isn't how this works at all.

God says (and He should know) that sin (being bad) separates us from Him and that our bad deeds have to be rewarded with death. BUT He also says that He loves us and wants us to be saved from that horrible "reward." He says that He showed the whole world that He loves us by sending Jesus to take that horrible reward for us, even though we were still being bad.

He says that if we "openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in [our] heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved!" (Refer to Romans 10:9)

That's it. That's how you become a true child of God! Not by doing good things. Not by being dunked or sprinkled by a preacher or priest. Not by living the best live you can live. Not by going to church. Not by giving money. Not by any other way. And it has to be through Jesus only! He was the one that took the horrible reward for your sin. Not any other person who has ever lived.

So, how about you? Are you a true Child of God? If you need some help getting there, leave me a message or get in touch with me. God loves you; and so do I!

12 Years as Pastor

Today marks 12 years that God called me to pastor Immanuel Southern Baptist Church. I have seen many blessings in these 12 years. Many ups and many downs. Many joyful occasions and many sorrowful ones.

I have baptized new believers and presided over baby dedications, baptisms, weddings and funerals. I have offered countless prayers for the sick or discouraged, delivered somewhere in the neighborhood of 1000 messages, and led thousands of songs.

I've had pies in my face, been dunked in a dunk tank, and dressed up in crazy costumes for Vacation Bible School. I driven thousands of miles, attended hundreds of meetings, and know how to navigate every hospital in NE OK.

But it isn't all about me. For sure. It is God Who has been at work at ISBC. He is the One who has saved souls and transformed lives. He is the One who gives comfort and healing. He is the One who stirs the hearts of men and women, boys and girls, to hunger for His Word, to live according to righteousness, and to have a passion for the lost. I am merely a tool in His hand.

I praise God for His faithfulness to His congregation and to me and my family. God is good, all the time!

25 Years and counting....

December 5, 1992

 Twenty-five years ago, at First Baptist Church, Vinita, Ok, Sally and I were united in marriage.

Sally's dad walking her down the aisle.

 Looking back, it seems we were just kids, although we had waited longer than most of our friends to get married.

Her parents, us, my parents.

It has been a wonderful journey that God has led us on; to serve Him all around the world.

A moment of quiet in a busy day.

God has blessed us abundantly.

Audrey's 2nd birthday in Vinita, OK.

 He blessed us with Audrey.

Emily, Me, Audrey, Sally in Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire.

 He blessed us with Emily.

Our family in Mongolia in 2004.

 He blessed us with being able to see His creation.

Beijing, 2004.

And pray for people all over the world.

Hong Kong, 2005

 We have been blessed to live all over the world, too.

Koh Samui, Thailand, 2005

 And enjoy great family adventures together.

My 1st Anniversary as pastor at Immanuel Southern Baptist Church, Wagoner, OK 2008.

 Then, He brought us back to Oklahoma, we He has allowed us to serve Him at "home."

Emily, JD, Audrey, Sally, Rick, Wagoner, OK 2017

 We added John Ellis to the family last year.

At the Western Wall in Jerusalem.

Our adventures will continue.

A continuing love story.

Now, with an empty nest, we will continue to serve the Lord. Continue to fall in love with each other even more every day!

Thank you, Lord, for my wife and family. May you continue to bless us that we might be a blessing to others!

10 Year Anniversary

10 years ago, today, I became pastor of Immanuel Southern Baptist Church in Wagoner, OK.

Sally and I had been serving with the International Mission Board in Hong Kong when I felt God's leadership to shift gears in ministry.

I had never pastored before. I was scared. Yes, as I reflect back on it I was scared. At the same time, I was confident. Certainly not confident in my abilities, but confident in the axiom, "God equips those whom He calls."

Me, a month or two after I became a pastor.

I had never pastored a church before. I had only preached less than half a dozen times. My wife later told me that she thought it was going to really be something to watch because, in her opinion, I couldn't preach worth a hill of beans. She has later often told me that God uses me to preach His word in a wonderful way.

Pastoring a church isn't for sissies. There is such a high Scriptural standard that I am held to, by the Lord, and by those I pastor. I will readily admit, I often don't live up to that standard.

In my previous 40 some years experience as a church member, I never knew that the pastor faced so many obstacles and difficulties. There are some nasty people who call themselves Christians. I have been lied to, lied about, gossiped about, slandered, cussed, and called names with words that don't belong in the Family of God.

There are, however, some true saints in the Bride of Christ. There are those who, if a mosquito bit them, it'd fly off singing, "There's Power in the Blood!" These are humble, hard-working servants of God who would do anything for anyone out of love, but avoid the limelight like the plague.

At my 1 year anniversary

I've seen people come and go. Some situations were so bizarre that I still don't understand what happened. For instance, several years ago, I baptized an entire family, like mom, dad, and 3 or 4 kids. The very next day, they moved to Arkansas!  Some came as flashes in the pan. They caused a big stir, but had no staying power and ultimately caused more trouble than whatever good they initially had.

But it's the faithful ones who are truly beautiful. Those who give without being asked, serve without expectations of being thanked or acknowledged, and share without thought of themselves. Praise God for the faithful ones!

I've seen God work wonders in people's lives, like the time He raised a woman from the dead on Easter morning (LINK) or when someone got saved at a business meeting, or watching lives being completely transformed. I've seen a whole lot of new/weak Christians grow in the Lord and I've watched some train wrecks as they walk in the flesh. Some are so embarrassed that they refuse to attend church or even take my calls.

I do know this: if everyone who has told me that they would be in service, rain or shine, would all show up at once, we'd have to build a balcony and have three services!

I have performed the duties and ceremonies expected of pastors. I have baptized new believers. I have married couples. I have performed funerals. To be honest, I'd much rather perform a funeral than a wedding!  There is much less drama. But I LOVE to baptize people. I've baptized over 200 people in the past 10 years. (Where are they now? Inquiring minds would like to know.)

Baptizing my daughter, Audrey, in 2011.

It seems that in the last 10 years, I have a lifetime of experiences. I have been blessed to be the front man for VBS for the past 8 years, usually dressing up in a character that goes along with the VBS theme; I have preached in Ukraine, China, and Israel; I've been to children's camp (KBA) and youth camp (Falls Creek); I've driven the senior adults on fall foliage tours; I've gotten my class B CDL to drive the new church bus; and so many other things that escape my memory.

God has done a great many wonderful things in our church in the past 10 years. We have a growing and thriving children's and youth ministries, we have a Food Pantry Ministry that distributes food to the hungry to the tune of about 750,000 meals in the past 8 years, and we have a unique jail ministry that we call "The Cookie Ministry" where we take bags of cookies with a gospel tract to the local jail each month. We are currently debt free and are looking to build a new multi-purpose building with designated funds that we've been sitting on for the past 25 years.

Me, today, on my 10th Anniversary as Pastor of ISBC

We also have a long way to go. Our financial situation is precarious. Yet, we've never not met our obligations. God has always been faithful with that. I would love to see the expansion of our youth ministry to include a separate class for middle school students. I want to see our YokeFellow and FAITH Rider groups to re-activate. I want a group of folks to step up and help with our children's Sunday School classes. We must have a nursery staff.

I love being a pastor. I LOVE preaching God's word. I love the wonderful folks at Immanuel Southern Baptist Church. 

No matter what God has in store for me and for ISBC, we can only pray it is for His glory! For in the end, that's all that really matters!

7 Year Anniversary

Today marks 7 years that I have been pastor of Immanuel Southern Baptist Church in Wagoner, OK.  My first official service was a Wednesday evening.

Me in my office in March 2008

Previous to being a pastor, I was a missionary with the International Mission Board for more than a decade. I had never pastored before coming to ISBC.

Sally & me playing special music one evening

I've learned a great deal about myself in the past 7 years. I've more aware of my weaknesses and weak tendencies. I've learned a great deal about God; that's for sure.  And I've learned a lot about people; Christians, in particular.

Recently donated box trailer

I've seen God work in this small congregation in wonderful ways. I've seen the devil at work here, too. I've seen self-sacrifice of the dedicated and I've seen the self-serving of the worldly.  Some of the nicest things that have ever been said to me have been said in the past 7 years at this church. Some of the worst things that have ever said to me or about me have been said in the same 7 years at this church.

Our beautiful sanctuary

Sometimes, it seems like it is two steps forward - one step back. Yet God has been faithful through all of my time here. We've had some disastrous experiences with youth leaders. We've gone through several song leaders. We have a hard time getting people to work with very young children. We've faced several major crises that have threatened the life of the church. We are currently experiencing a horrific budget shortfall.

Our first VBS

Our most recent VBS

I've seen a few people get mad and leave the church. Usually, they are mad at me (generally blaming me for something) and cause a lot of problems after the leave (but not as many as they caused when they were here).

Falls Creek 2014

Despite the problems, there are many more wonderful victories. We've seen our youth and children's groups grow from 2 or 3 to 25 each! There were weeks at a time when no one drove our church vans; they are being used 3 or 4 times each week! For the first time in the history of our church, we had our own cabin at our children's camp this year taking a total of 31 people from the church (which includes adults). We are about to build a new Children's Ministry Center next month. We are experiencing growth in all areas of Sunday School and have started 4 or 5 new classes in the past several years. Our Vacation Bible School continues to grow. Our Food Pantry Ministry provides over 140,000 meals per year to needy folks from our community. We've seen many saved and baptized as a result of this ministry. In fact, this past Sunday, I baptized 15 people who had been saved through the pantry, VBS, or one of our camps.

Family baptism

As God allows, we will accomplish a lot for His kingdom in the coming years. We plan on ordaining two men to the Gospel Ministry in October. We have a long range plan which includes outreach to the Hispanic community, community education, and perhaps even partnering with an orphanage in the Middle East. As long as our members continue to seek to serve God and His kingdom, He will continue to use us.

I am grateful for the privilege of pastoring this flock. I do not take it lightly, nor do I take it for granted. It is a great responsibility that God has given me. I am grateful that He has seen fit to use me here.  May God (continue to) bless Immanuel Southern Baptist Church!

FaceBook Friends and Former Friends

I just glanced through the "suggested friends" or "people you may know" list on FaceBook.

I am a bit melancholy now.

I saw several people who used to be friends, but have defriended me for whatever reason. There were more than I care to admit.

Some of the people I was aware that they had defriended me. It was a surprise to see some folks, whom I thought I was friends with, on that list.

Some of the folks are former church members who left the church and defriended me because someone who got mad at me for some reason or another told them to and they obeyed.

Some are people who defriended me because they disagree with my politics or religion or both.

Some, well, I have no idea why they defriended me.

It wouldn't be so bad if they were people that I'd met on the internet, but these were people I know in real life. Some of whom I performed their wedding.

Pride is a horrible thing. I apologize if I hurt your feelings, but I won't apologize for my faith or taking a stand for what I believe.

I'm certainly not going to defriend someone because I disagree with their politics!

FaceBook is a strange, strange thing.

Serendipitous Ruminations

There have been several thoughts banging around in this empty head of mine; I need to get them in print. Here they are in no particular order:

• Any attempt to gain revenue by normalizing or legalizing a vice has proved counter-productive in the State of Oklahoma. First it was "Liquor by the drink", then para-mutual horse racing, then Indian casinos, then the lottery. They are looking at legalizing marijuana. What's next legalized prostitution?
• I visited the Jewish Art Museum in Tulsa yesterday. In their holocaust exhibition, they noted that Henry Ford was antisemitic and for a time, place antisemitic literature in the glove box of each new car he sold.
• The birth certificate that the White House presented as Obama's ORIGINAL birth certificate doesn't look anything like my original birth certificate. (He was born two years before me) It does, however, look like a copy of my birth certificate that I got back in the 1980's. We are being lied to.
• I am appalled at the attempt to normalize homosexuality.  Anyone who stands against this abomination is labeled as a homophobe or a bigot.  I have felt more hate directed at me for my views on homosexuality (which are in line with the Bible) than for any of my other opinions. For those who tout tolerance, they aren't very tolerant of me.
• The gun control issue isn't about guns; it's about control. The cities with the highest homicide rates are those with the strictest gun control. I really think they are afraid that they might lose their tyrannical power by allowing us to maintain our 2nd Amendment right. Wait a minute! Isn't that what the 2nd Amendment is all about?
• If it wasn't so pitiful and sad, I would find it hysterically amusing that homosexual "couples", especially lesbian couples, must have one partner who assumes the male role and one who assumes the female role. I've seen numerous "wedding" pictures where one of the women is dressed as a man and the other in a bridal dress. 
• Islam is NOT a religion of peace. It is a religion of hate and violence. Allah is not the same as the One true God of the Bible. It embodies the spirit of the antichrist. 
• I find it interesting that Hollywood's portrayal of lesbians is very very different from reality. Hollywood shows two slim, hot women who are extremely feminine and sensual; Walmart and the news show two obese decidedly butch and unattractive women. Then again, Hollywood has never been good at portraying reality.
• National Democratic politicians scream "racism" at every opportunity, but their own policies and programs are extremely racist, especially against African Americans. Their support of Planned Parenthood has killed more African Americans than the KKK could have ever imagined.
• I don't trust anyone in the current administration. Something is afoot.
• GENERALLY, churches with the words Liberty, Grace, Free, or Abundant are filled with anything but grace. It OFTEN denotes extreme legalism.
• I'll bet that the missing Malaysian Airlines plane is in Pakistan.
• One of the things that irk me most is church people who do something wrong, get caught, then lie about it, usually implicating someone else (often the preacher). Pride is so evil.
• Smokers are generally, some of the most selfish people you will ever meet. There is nothing worse than an angry militant smoker who demands their right to smoke, no matter the place or present company. They don't recognize that their addiction truly makes a slave of them to nicotine. And there is no way to hide it. You can't smoke at home or in the car and then cover it up with perfume; that doesn't work.
• I believe the Return of Jesus is eminent. Possibly by the end of next year.  Are you ready?

2012 => 2013

Well, 2012 is all but done.

 It's been quite a year for me and my family. God has blessed us immensely. We've had some really great things happen, and some really difficult things happen. But no matter what all has happened, God has been in control.

High points include my older daughter turning 16 and getting her first car and our family in the process of purchasing our own home.

Low points include being betrayed by then gossiped about by people whom I trusted and regarded as friends and the passing of my grandmother.

Fun activities have included being recreation coordinator at children's camp, working with Southern Baptist Disaster Relief in Creek County and New Orleans, and going to Southern China and Hong Kong with a group of pastors from Oklahoma.

I don't know what 2013 holds in store for us, but, I'd recommend storing up a few things like firearms, ammo, and survival resources. The world is falling apart at the seams.

Nevertheless, God is in control.

Thank you for reading RickBoyne.com this year! May God bless you for a Joyous and Healthy New Year!

Sunday Evening Sermon (11/11/12)

Here is my sermon for Sunday evening, November 11, 2012, "Handling Conflict" based on 2 Samuel 15:5-14:

Sunday morning message

Here is my Sunday morning message, "The Heart of Man" based on Mark 7:14-23:

Here is my evening sermon from Oct 21, 2012.

Me and little Aubree

Filling the baptistry for tomorrow

How to Leave a Church the WRONG Way

DISCLAIMER: I have NOT written this post with any individual or incident in mind; it is a general observation only!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I've been attending church since 9 months before I was born. I've seen church attenders come and go. I've seen church splits. I've witnessed people leaving with grace and I've witnessed people leaving with their panties in a wad.

Here's how to leave a church the WRONG way:

• Make a scene - be sure to damage your witness, the church's witness, and the pastor's witness with everyone within earshot. OR - 
• Don't tell the pastor your leaving. Just quietly quit coming.
• Talk about the pastor - pretend to be his friend, then stab him in the back with everyone you meet for the next couple of years.
• Take as many people as you can with you - whether they were involved or not, make sure they never set foot in church again, ANYWHERE.
• Financially cripple the church - make sure they know you were a giver and you're taking it all away.
• Keep friends with the newer members of the church - and try to drive a wedge between them and the pastor.
• Call the pastor all kinds of names - "sticks and stones" is only a nursery rhyme anyway.
• Hold a grudge -  eventually, the taste of bile in your mouth won't taste as bitter; at least that's the story going around.
• Make snarky remarks to and about the pastor's family - that's the best way to get back at the preacher.
• Blame everyone else, especially the pastor - he's an easy target anyway and, after all, dodging personal responsibility IS the American Way!
• Be the victim - your behavior had absolutely NOTHING to do with the problem.
• Take your problem with you to the next church - after all, running away solves everything, doesn't it?
• Call the pastor and tell him off - he doesn't have anything better to do than to listen to your rant, and he probably had it coming.
• Completely ignore the pastor and his family - especially if you see them in a restaurant or Walmart.
• Exaggerate and embellish your story to others - be sure to leave out the parts about how you said or did this or that; that might make YOU look bad.
• Don't pray about leaving - just do it on impulse.
• Stop going to church completely - never again enter a church building; that'll show 'em!

I, personally, have left 13 churches in the past nearly 50 years. Only one of them was over a disagreement (theological in nature), and that's when I changed denominations to become Southern Baptist. (during college) The rest were because I moved away.  Even when I didn't like the pastor or when I had disagreements with other members, I never once considered leaving.

I have not experienced each of the above scenarios, but I have been on the receiving end of several.

From a pastor's point of view, it isn't fun. Not fun at all.

Pastors take a hard rap for everything that goes wrong in the church. Quite frankly, it's like trying to herd cats. With a few bobcats thrown in for excitement.

Believe it or not, but pastors are NOT perfect. I know a few of them THINK they are, but they aren't. Most of us are WELL acquainted with the fact that we are indeed fallible. We make bad decisions. We make decisions on what we believe to be God's will for the church as a whole.  We make people mad by not giving into their silly whims or even sillier arguments.  We make people mad by not kowtowing to their every beck and call.  And God FORBID that you don't go visit someone in the hospital or miss greeting them at church!

Undoubtedly, this post will upset some people. Some people will immediately think I've written it about them.  Well, I haven't..

Part of the problem with people getting mad and leaving a church has to do with the fact that they've lost their focus. They start believing church is for them and about them, instead of having anything to do with serving God and serving others.

There is, indeed, a time to leave a church. I certainly understand this. There is a proper way to leave a church, too. Don't burn bridges! You never know when you just might need your church family, especially if you haven't found a new church to attend.

Can you add any more wrong ways to leave a church?